What theorem would allow you to determine the circumference of an unfriendly, clawed koala bear at its fattest point?

What kind of triangle describes the shape of a kangaroo’s ears?

Doesn’t sound like I’m using my education to help my friend get into studying for his G-MAT, does it? But the truth is, I really am. One, because he’s been frustrated and was feeling a little unmotivated, but mostly because we remember information so much better if it amuses us or otherwise engages your emotions. I learned to use application in elementary school, when you always had to put your spelling or vocab words into sentences. I was creative and always tried to not just find a sentence, but find a good sentence (yes, yes, I’m an overachiever). And it always broke up the stress of a test if a question suddenly reminded me of something funny from studying. A little laughter would help my focus, since stress tends to make my head noisy.

I think I also felt some sympathy for the teacher who had to read through our tests. If my sentences could amuse them, why not try to?

Grad school and later reading only confirmed what I had known for years. As a writer, I’d always been aware of the role emotion plays in making your writing strong, memorable, and effective. And as a student, I’d spent years honing my study techniques. I love learning, and in a way that makes me more aware of what techniques work and what don’t – because if even I can’t get into the subject matter, then something isn’t working.

It’s funny. Even just trying to help my friend get into his G-MAT study mode via text message gave me a chance to feel that spark that drew me to museums and teaching. It’s all about finding ways to make information accessible – an enjoyable, interesting, worthwhile, lasting learning experience. Teaching taps into both my planning/analytical skills and my creativity, and that’s something I love about it.

I remember the first time I hung out with a large group of teenage guys.

That is, most of my friends in middle and high school were guys, but we tended to hang out in groups of two or three. Right now I’m thinking of the first time it was me, another girl, and ten guys.

I wasn’t expecting to be surprised – after all, I knew guys, right? But apparently two guys hanging out with a girl aren’t nearly as rough or crazy as ten guys ignoring two girls. I pretty much sat on the couch and stared.

I’m thinking of it because I’ve become largely acclimated to living with two teenage boys. I don’t flinch or worry if they start beating one another up on the couch just behind me, I’ve stopped questioning their appetites, and I’m surprised if the TV isn’t on to a sports game or comedy.

More, I miss them when the house is quiet. I’m bummed if the soccer game is postponed. And, as with all women with JMS (Jewish Mother Syndrome), I’m thrilled by little chances to feed them – and amused if I accidentally blow something up in the process, much to my older nephew’s delight.

9A.M. The sun is hidden behind clouds, leaving the world in a shadow that brings to mind late dusk or the earliest dawn.

And yet she stands out. Her back is straight, yet she appears huddled – the black and white stripes of her blanket falling in folds around her, her straight black hair shielding her face from the cool air. The bench she sits on is stone. Although brown leaves are piled at her feet, still more grow green on the trees to either side of her.

She sits on the Fifth Avenue bench, dressed for work, lost in contemplation.

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11:30A.M. He sits on a folding chair, far back, until someone stops to consider his watercolors. Cherry blossoms captured in a deep red, like a blanket of snow falling – a white tiger looking out at you – a home shrouded in blue mists among the mountains.

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12:00P.M. He sits on the park bench, surrounded by leaves, dogs and people passing by. He balances his laptop, his Blackberry in his right hand, opening a newspaper in his left – oblivious to the world, even my camera.

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Recreated Moment, 11:45A.M. I approach two women who are considering a map, ask if they are lost and/or need help (God knows how many times I have to ask for directions still). They don’t need help, but they tell me about themselves – their names are Dot and Sandy, and they are visiting from Canada. They’ve just seen the Frick, and are debating the Met or the Guggenheim next. They ask me where I’m from – apparently offering my help was a giveaway that I’m not a native New Yorker! We all agree, though, that New Yorkers are quite helpful – the trick is getting them to stop and pay attention. I’ve made a conscious decision in New York to smile at as many people as I can without making myself uncomfortable and to offer assistance whenever it looks appropriate. As a side benefit, I get to hear some cool accents!

I should get this on a t-shirt, yes?! :-p Or an apron. Or something. Lol. I could quilt it on a blanket to keep warm!

I’ve been fighting off some stomach bug the past few days, so I’m pretty tired in the evenings. Or maybe that’s just me being not a night person. Anyways. A lot has happened over the last week or so! Most of it small things. I thought a quick highlights post covering some of it would be good.

* I found a Street Festival where the library was selling a whole bag of books for only $1! They had a lot of great books there, so I got 24 books (for just $1!! had to say it again.) to send to a soldier unit in Afghanistan that is maintaining a small library for the soldiers. I thought it would be great to send the soldiers a sense of people’s support for them, so I got photos from a lot of the vendors. Everyone was really happy about the opportunity – they reacted like I was giving them a gift instead of vice versa! I mailed the package just yesterday, so hopefully the soldiers will enjoy it!

* I met with a woman from my field and she’s given me a lot of great contacts. It’s really motivating – I got a lot done today in terms of reaching out to possible positions.

* I also got a call at the end of the day about an interview – for tomorrow! Hopefully it will go well. It’s a weekend supervisor position, so it would be a good place to start.

* I went to the duckpond and a stranger I met there taught me how to fish. I actually caught three little perch that we threw back in. On the one hand, I was a little squeamish… after all, I don’t eat fish and haven’t since I was 8. But I’m not opposed to humans eating meat, and fishing is a popular pastime around here.

* I got paired with my In2Books penpal! He sounds really cool and I’m looking forward to finding out what books we’re reading!

* I’ve been looking at templates for an online photography portfolio. I usually hate the idea of using pre-made code… but it would be nice to use Flash. So we’ll see.

* I made candy apples for the first time – first time I ever had candy apples, actually. They were pretty good! Which reminds me, I had to pick out movies by myself for family movie night and it seemed like I did pretty well. So I guess I get kudos points!

* My sister has created a new message system for me. It’s roughly based on Morse Code. She grabs a ruler and knocks on the floor, which is my ceiling. Whatever she knocks means “come upstairs and help me with web design stuff.” The system is surprisingly effective!

Over the last week, I went to two Fall For Dance Festival days. Tickets were only $10! I had an amazing Orchestra section, smack-in-the-center, seat for the first show, and a pretty good seat for the second show. The shows were incredible. I saw:

Day 1

Basil Twist – Petrushka Suite

He replaces the typical puppet-like characters with actual puppets – it was very clever and cute. Since I’m really into puppetry, I was looking forward to this – and it didn’t disappoint.

Monica Bill Barnes & Company – I feel like

To be honest, I didn’t get this one very well – I’m not great with modern dance. A few times I’d think – “oh, maybe I get what they are trying to say” – but I’m not certain that they were trying to say anything.

Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo – Go for Barocco

This one was primarily amusing because all the dancers are male, but are dressed (convincingly) like females. But they also threw in some amusing randomness among the well-done ballet… so I enjoyed it.

DanceBrazil – Capoeira

Capoeira is an Afro-Cuban martial arts style dance, and it was AMAZING. There was a free capoeira workshop before the show, but I didn’t go – wish I had!

Day 2:

The Australian Ballet – Le Spectre de la Rose

It was great to see something so classic, especially knowing the history behind it. I mean, this ballet broke stereotypes and was important in Nijinsky’s career. And the Rose was so energetic, I loved that.

Sang Jijia – Snow

Modern dance again… my neighbor turned to me afterwards and asked what I thought. Her opinion was that it had been torturous, that she kept expecting some turning point in the dance but it never came, he just kept repeating the same motions over and over again. The snow falling against a black screen the whole time created this odd effect – I kept becoming disoriented, thinking he was floating in space.

Diana Vishneva, Prima Ballerina of the Mariinksy Theatre – Dying Swan

This ballet also has some interesting history – it was pretty much choreographed in two minutes, when the male dancer fell ill and hence the female needed to do a solo. It was lovely, though I enjoyed the energy in La Spectre de la Rose more.

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater – Revelations
On the one hand, I enjoyed this – it was energetic and had a lot of spirit. But I felt like I was missing the storyline at parts. Still, it got a standing ovation and huge applause.

This is definitely something I’ll keep an eye out for next year if I’m still in the area!

I’ll post an update on what else has been going on tomorrow, hopefully – New Jersey is treating me well lately!

I once read about a game of positive/negative (in Beautiful Boy by David Sheff). It goes something like this (I made this example up on the spot):

M got a great night’s sleep.

But he slept so deeply that he didn’t notice a spider crawl into his mouth.

Fortunately he woke up.

Unfortunately, the spider was already in his throat.

Fortunately, he gagged.

Unfortunately, he swallowed the spider anyways.

Fortunately, it didn’t taste bad.

Unfortunately, the spider didn’t die, and it made a spider’s web in his stomach.

Fortunately, M learned how to catch flies and became the world’s greatest circus act.

My day was kind of like that – one thing invalidating the next in such a way I couldn’t help but laugh at it all.

The temp job I’m at has been frustrating on two levels. Firstly, because they honestly have no work for me to do. I cover the phones – which maybe ring five times in an eight hour period. Yesterday I didn’t have a working phone at all but they kept me anyways.

Today I had a working phone, but it didn’t ring once the entire day!

BUT they had work for me! I was so excited to have work that I didn’t even take a lunch break. I was on this weird energy high fueled by free bagels and tea with honey. And I didn’t run out of work til 3 or 3:30. One of the guys tried to convince me to go to a late lunch with him and I replied that I was so energized I couldn’t leave the building for fear of bouncing up into the stratosphere. He thought that would be a fun adventure, but I was pretty sure there’s limited oxygen up there.

A little background, I was being considered for permanent hire at this job… all the staff actually assumed I’d get the job. But the day the CEO came back, last week, he declared me out of the running. When I found out, I took it well – I asked if there was anything I could have done better , for future improvement. I was told no. Now, I’m not one to make excuses for myself…. I believe you step up to the plate and swing with everything you have. But I was told there was nothing I could have done, and I accepted it. Today one of the staff came up and assumed again – asked me “you’re taking over for [S], right?” I explained no, that I’m just covering until they hire someone. He said to me – “if you really want the job, take initiative.” He even gave suggestions of little things I could do.

On the one hand, I felt frustrated: was it my fault after all, had I failed by not being hired? And how could I really make a good impression at work when they gave me nothing to be productive on? But on the other hand, I felt motivated: okay, I could step up to the plate again! So I followed his suggestions and planned to do so tomorrow as well.

I popped my head into my supervisor’s office shortly after to ask about next week – to remind her I have an appointment on Monday – and learned that tomorrow is my last day. So much for a second step up to the plate!

But I figured, hey, at least now my appointment on Monday won’t interfere, and I can even make an appointment for Wednesday with a colleague I’ve had no luck scheduling with.

Then I got an email that my Monday appointment was canceled!

But I also got an email from the colleague that Wednesday wouldn’t work, could we do Monday instead – so there you go.

I happened to check my horoscope and it says “You’re experiencing some strange after-effects from long-ago mistakes or good deeds — karma can take a long time to manifest! Don’t read too much into it, but do remember that what goes around comes around.” I can’t imagine what I did!

I just got my paycheck, so there’s another positive!

My sister is going out tonight, and my nephews are going to be around the house til 8:30; it’s my job to keep the house standing. With my luck today, I half expect a fire to break out.

Oh, in other news, my Marine became a Sergeant today!! I’m very amused because we have bonded over soup and photography. I’m planning a celebratory package for him that contains a bit of both

Census questions always throw me off.

I don’t think of myself as “white” except in comparison to someone who is categorized by some other skintone. I’m certain that my caucasian skintone has played a big role in my life, but I think of myself as simply Jewish. While American Jewry is predominantly a caucasian population, there are African American, Asian, other “ethnicities” as a growing proportion of the population.

Anyways. I tend to think of myself as a minority in that way. It’s very obvious to me that America is a Christian nation. My nephew from Israel just didn’t get what the big deal is that there’s a NYC street named after Golda Meir; but to me and most Jews who have grown up in America and know Israeli and Jewish history, that’s a big thing.

At my current temp job, about half the employees are Israeli. It’s exciting for me to be around the language and culture again.

What was really exciting for me was when one of them brought in apples and started looking for honey. Apples and honey is a traditional Rosh Hashana treat – it’s to symbolize a sweet new year. I’m used to offices where maybe you get an electric menorah at Chanukah…. at this office, my cultural traditions get to take a forefront. We peeled and cut up the apples, and I poured out some honey from a honey bear, and we invited everyone to come try it. We taught them how to say “Shana Tova U’metukah” (a good and sweet year) before they went back to their cubicles. There were a lot of return trips for seconds and thirds and fourths!

“The creatures that inhabit this earth – be they human beings or animals – are here to contribute, each in its own particular way, to the beauty and prosperity of the world.” - Dalai Lama

“Man is condemned to be free. Condemned because he has not created himself- and is nevertheless free. Because having once been hurled into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” - Sartre

I’ve had two conversations (plus some) that have defined something for me. One was with a guy who likes to argue and debate for the sake of the argument. One was with a woman who says that even if she doesn’t bother changing her lifestyle after reading Michael Pollan’s In Defense of Food, “it’s good to educate yourself.” And the other was just the random conversation at the lunch table.

I don’t believe in theory for the sake of theory. It probably sounds like I talk about a lot of ideals all the time, but to me these discussions are about active searching – for ways to live a healthy and responsible life, for ways to help people out there, for ways to help create a healthy and responsible society. My life is about actively seeking those goals. When I find a pathway, I try it – try to change my lifestyle in a sustainable way. I have very little patience for people who know “they should” but don’t care enough to try.

For those scientists out there, I’m not arguing that you can never do “pure” research. Just as my philosophy discussions might not have a specific destination in mind, so pure research often leads to important discoveries for society.

I believe that living with a focus towards global responsibility doesn’t stop me from enjoying my life – in fact, it enhances it in so many ways. The issue is simply about perspective and balance. You have to know what’s a balanced expectation – so that you don’t overload yourself or have ridiculous expectations – but you also need a perspective shift at times… to remember that although you are just one person, your contribution makes a big change.

It reminds me of something John once wrote to me:

Some feel 10 million is a drop in the bucket in terms of the overall budget, but what’s a storm but a bunch of drops falling from the sky? Keep your chin up… and keep in mind there are those who are trapped by the inertia of the status quo, and there are those whose jobs are to break us all free of that mindlock. But don’t scorn them for being caught in such an awful trap. Imagine how dreadful it must be imagining all of your tomorrows to be the same as your yesterdays!

I’ve realized through many discussions that many people are stuck in just that – they refuse to conceive that there could be other systems, other lifestyles, other perspectives that work for them. I hesitate to call it blind selfishness, though it often seems to parade in that guise. It’s a mindlock that I haven’t figured out how to break. Whether it was by birth or by childhood events, I came to this life prepared to become the person I am always becoming – a change agent. I believe in the individual’s importance and responsibility towards achieving global change. I believe we are all the individual drops needed to make a storm.

The paradox is that, although societal change logically must be fueled by individual change, individual change seems to follow the trend of societal change. Maybe it’s our market economy – maybe it’s about a few companies noticing a potential trend and making it seem like the next big thing. For whatever reason, I believe we are seeing a shift in perspective – slowly, slowly, slowly. It’s hard to say how much of it is fueled by need (we’re running out of gas! We have to find alternative energy sources!) and how much is a true shift in approach to life (we need to create a sustainable society model so that we don’t destroy the planet and millions don’t die every year from lack of resources).

The paradox of feeling passionately about something is that while you are well-equipped, through your passion, to “market” your cause, you also have less patience to do so. You’re too emotionally invested, the cause seems too urgent. And of course it is urgent – millions die every day; crop diversity is being steadily lost and we only have about twenty years to save certain staple crops from global warming; with each drop we add to our tanks, there’s less left for the future; hundreds of thousands of people live in conditions barely thinkable.

The most important shift in thinking, perhaps, is the balance between being patient but not too patient. We need solutions – but we need sustainable, long-lasting solutions. Not a quick fix. Not a ten-year bandaid. And people need to understand that these solutions will require societal change. Not because they’ve been led to feel it’s hip to recycle, or because it’s more cost-effective to take public transport than buy gas. We need to become aware that our lifestyle isn’t just about us, but about the world. Our basic approach to life, our basic philosophies, will have to shift as we enter a new world of solutions to global issues – social, environmental, economic, political, educational.

I’ve met a few guys in the time I’ve been living here. In each case, they – at their own suggestion – gave me their phone number. One of them never has time to hang out, another’s phone doesn’t work.

Maybe third time is the charm, but this time it’s me in the way of it happening. I see this guy every day, at least for the duration of my current temp job. He grabs small excuses for conversation starters, finds chances to give me subtle little presents. We actually went to lunch one day, but since then it’s been this dance – him continuing to reach out, and me standing still. That is… I’m friendly. I make conversation, I smile at him, I even visit him at his cubicle once in a while.

The ball is clearly in my court… and I don’t know what to do with it. For a number of reasons. One, because even if temporarily, we’re working in the same office; I’m worried that’s a potentially bad situation. Two, I have almost no experience with dating… I’ve always had relationships, not dates. I’ve gone on a few dates with guys – okay, two (not counting lunch with this guy) – and that means that I’ve always done the “develop crush on one another, become significant others” path. Instead of the “go on dates, get to know one another” path.

It also means the chemistry has always been there from early on in the relationship. I’m having trouble imagining going on a date with someone before the chemistry is definitely there, much less making the move to suggest we go out again. Which is funny, because the chemistry in most of my relationships developed – it’s just that it developed through friendship, with no relationship pressure. Once it was there, the relationship happened.

I also feel like I’m having trouble getting a sense of this guy. I’ve always been attracted to people who are passionate and have a big dream and the drive to push for it (and, by extension, to push me as well) – I’m not sure if I just haven’t had a chance to see it, or if this guy doesn’t have it…. I feel like I’m missing something, but maybe that’s an assumption on my part that he must have that aspect to his personality? And if he doesn’t, is that important? I’m not certain – there have been major pros and cons to that aspect of my relationships.

An abrupt ending point, but time to end this post – happy New Year!