I’m going to be quite busy soon, with a 7-day schedule. It won’t start all at once, but I expect it could be in full gear within the next two weeks.

So I’m thinking long-range, which is a nice change. It’s a nice difference from both the “not-much-going-on-to-plan-for” and the “too-much-happening-to-plan-past-the-next-few-hours.” It’s nice to think about big-pot recipes I can make to take for lunch and cover a few meals, and being sure to get my holiday cards done early, and I’m even getting ahead on my articles for once.

I’m even adjusting my sleep schedule ahead of time. I read recently that you sleep better if you stick to the same sleep schedule every day. I’m slowly easing that time forward so that when I have to start waking up around 6am it won’t be a huge shock. I’m enjoying the early mornings…. I’ve always been more of a daylight person. I love having lots of time – by noon I can have a fair bit accomplished and that makes me feel quite good. In fact, it gives me more time to relax and take my tasks at a comfortable pace.

And on the days I don’t need to be out that early, I’ll get to enjoy a leisurely breakfast (I’m obsessed with fritattas lately), catch up with my parents, have a little downtime before heading out.

For the record, I’m going to avoid caffeine like the plague if possible. Caffeine withdrawal does not equal good sleep or a very effective me.

I’m not illusioned about what this 7-day schedule is going to be like… I think the commuting will be the most frustrating part, because it feels like such a waste of time. I’ll be home early on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, and I’ll have to be good about keeping up with the things that need to get done in the free time that I have.

It’ll be hard work, but it’s going to be worth it. In February my schedule will change again (Mondays and Tuesdays will be up for grabs), and we’ll see what happens then, what opportunities arise.

It’s a funny thing. In movies and books, it often seems like “New Chapter” begins and everything in the past is in the past. Sometimes I try to think “Okay, New Chapter!” but the truth is, life is one continuous thread. So we’ll see what happens over the next few months. I’m looking forward to it.

2Pm - Either soccer refreshed my supply of patience, or I’m resigned to this week.

I’m taking my laptop into the shop in about two hours… I had a similar issue with an iPod once, so I’m pretty sure they are going to send the laptop into the factory. Nothing I can do about it, so I’m just backing up everything I can and working on holiday cards in the meantime. I’ll find a library or such place with internet access so I can keep working until I get it back, not much else I can do. Didn’t even freak when a disc jammed in the laptop an hour ago, just found directions to fix it.

Even when my laptop is having issues, I’m willing to enter a flame war with my friend in favor of Macs vs. PCs. Lol.

In any case, as I told a friend…. this, too, shall pass.

4:30PM - Soo…. today was a big waste of time. I spent the whole day backing up files – didn’t even work on next week’s article other than to convert it to a Word file in case I had to give up my Mac- and all Apple would tell me is that they didn’t see the problem(s) happening.
But I got a lot done on my Chanukah cards, and I’m not overly upset. I figure I’ll work hard tonight…. and if I have to, post a backup article. Have an interview for a p/t temp position tomorrow morning, and a phone interview for a f/t position near D.C. next week. So all in all, I’m not upset with today.

5:45PM – My secret weapon for writing in the house: Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love a Bad Name”. It blasts out the Rock Band upstairs but is so familiar that I can tune it out and focus (Anne Marie claims this is “very New Jersey.” Is hearing your 13-year old nephew crooning ‘One Way Or Another’ upstairs also very New Jersey?). I did mention that I had to work tonight, but apparently that wasn’t deemed relevant… and I don’t feel like making an issue out of it. So, hello Bon Jovi!

9PM - I’ve never been so grateful for homework. Music works for blocking out noise while I’m writing, but reading through what I’ve written is more difficult with the background music. At about 7:15 I reminded my sister that the boys probably had homework… they are supposed to start homework at 7. Rock Band went off and it was suddenly easy to concentrate….

I went to Starbucks today to work from there… just to get out of the house and hopefully pull out of this funk that waiting has put me in. I had reasonable goals for my work output today, and I even took my craft supplies in case I needed a break or even finished early. Since traffic becomes impossible from 3-7, there was a chance of being stranded for a few hours, so I was prepared.

I’m aware that I’m not as productive when I work from Starbucks, but I figured it’d be alright.

What I failed to factor in is that I’ve barely consumed caffeine in the last month. I failed to consider the fact that the last time I DID have caffeine, I was up til 4am. I went ahead and ordered a chai latte.

Starbucks is always a bit distracting. People, ringing cell phones, movement, cold. But on a heavy caffeine dose, my focus is shattered. It’s the equivalent of injecting me with a gene for ADD.

It didn’t improve my funk, except for a brief period of time when I was rather amusing in conversation with my friends online (if I do say so myself). I’m more afraid of the sugar crash than anything else now.

But I came home and worked out – did the full 42 minutes of DWTS on the elliptical, because Starbucks = massive empty calories – and that did leave me a bit better off. I did manage to write a fairly solid first page today, so although I didn’t achieve half of what I’d hoped, I wasn’t entirely unproductive. Soccer is tonight, a late evening game, so I’m hoping the caffeine carries me through – but since I finished drinking the caffeine by 11AM, I’m praying the effects wear off before bedtime.

11:30PM Update: Soccer was AWESOME and although I was crashing before the game, the cold air woke me up – that and all the cheering (I asked my nephew tonight if they can really hear us – we’ve often wondered from the sidelines. He replied “Yes!”) So I came home from soccer more awake and up than I’ve felt in days…. and have been having energy highs and crashes since then. Going to attempt to go to sleep now and praying I’m not up til 4AM!

November 10th is the birthday of the U.S. Marine Corps!

I was at the Post Office the other day, balancing a large package to send to my Marine in Afghanistan. He won’t be able to receive any mail after January 1st, so this was a holiday/birthday/last-chance package. A woman asked if it was for my husband! I told her all about AnySoldier.com and wrote down the address for her – hopefully she’ll try it out

But I was amused to learn that I must finally be starting to look my age. People tend to assume I’m in college, or even high school. I wasn’t even wearing makeup or particularly “grown up” clothes.

But then that night I picked up my 15 year old nephew and his friend’s mother thought I was my nephew’s sister. So maybe not.

On Friday, I went to the Museum of Art and Design – awesome exhibits! There was a papercuts exhibit- doesn’t really do justice to the amazing artworks to call it that. There was a German WWII tank – out of papers with Jewish Hebrew prayers on them – and stag beetles cut so they stood up out of the prayers. The artist described the stag beetles who normally hide in the desert sands but have the armor to defend themselves when necessary. Plus he did some kool technical adaptations out of respect for Jewish laws against destroying holy books – ie the beetles can fold back into place on the pages – they are not cut off (not entirely sure that solves the issue, but I was impressed nonetheless).

Pietro Ruffo, Youth of the Hills (2008)

Close up of the stag beetles. Pietro Ruffo, Youth of the Hills (2008)

There was also a very kool exhibit on Madeleine Albright’s pins. It was fascinating to see how she used her jewelry to convey messages and set the tone for her work. And can you imagine, a pin made out of a piece of the Berlin Wall? I can’t find an image of it, but that fascinates me.

Things are kind of amazing lately.

My projects are taking off and I have several good friends whom I’m in touch with nearly every day. I’m creating a community out of my friends, introducing them to one another, making beneficial connections. My leads are hopefully finally leading to professional opportunities. My projects put me in touch with a lot of wonderful people and open the chances to do a lot of fun things. Best of all is the positive response I’m getting – I mean, I love the process, but I can’t deny I’m hooked on seeing my project’s visitor stats rise and hearing people praise the work I’m doing. Better, I love seeing my work actually helping people.

For the first three weeks, it felt a bit like a treadmill. Like I was trying to keep up, constantly. Every week I’d promise myself to be a day ahead on the process. Which should have made me feel guilty about taking the weekend completely off.

But I didn’t, except for a few twinges on Sunday.

This weekend was supposed to be pretty crazy. Friday was a research field trip, then the weekend had a scheduled 3-5 mile hike, apple picking, a soccer game, and a trip to the crafts fair. Much of this included hour-long drives.

I was disappointed that the soccer game was canceled, but the rest? I didn’t miss it. Instead I made applesauce and read in the sunlight from the kitchen window. I started making crafty holiday cards (which are coming out wonderfully!). I spent hours talking to a friend. I joined in a Rock Band concert with my nephew and sister. I got a whole bag of free books to send to some of my soldiers.

It was all exactly what I needed.

I’m not really used to two-day weekends. In Israel, we don’t have them. And in museums, you don’t have them either. So by Sunday I admit I was a little antsy. But I enjoyed having the openness to focus the energy on whatever most appealed to me.

I’d say it worked. I was SO productive today! Probably also helped to work outside for most of the morning.

Here’s what I love about NYC: the beauty is in the small things, tiny details that you miss in the first-sight awe of skyscrapers, crowds, and flashing lights. My friend commented to me a few months ago that she thinks she’d feel lost in NYC – tiny, insignificant, forgotten. And I understand why; NYC does that to people. Until you acclimate. What I’ve learned to do instead is appreciate the countless stories, the countless individuals. To love the tiny details – the floral architecture on a doorway, the little boy playing in Washington Square Park, the bird watching passerbys.

NY City Center

Here’s what I love about North Jersey: People are friendly and open enough to let a complete stranger photograph them. There’s very little of the distance you feel between people who pass one another in NYC. Total strangers have handed me their fishing pole and taught me to fish; total strangers have let me stop them for a photograph, or stick around for two hours photographing their kids.

Father and son cast off

Years ago, when I lived in this same town as a child, a young married couple moved into the house next door.

They had a dog and cats – and I think they had a baby, but oddly enough I can’t remember for certain. Maybe because at that time, in this community, it was assumed that a young married couple buying their first house probably had a baby – so my brain has skipped over that detail.

I didn’t spend much time around them. They moved in just before we left the state.

But I do remember that they threw a housewarming party and invited all the neighbors. It made a very strong impression on me – the idea of opening your doors, welcoming everyone in, and making yourself part of your new community. I was only about ten years old, but I’ve always remembered that – and thought that I’d like to do that. I’d like to become the house where all the neighborhood kids drop by after school to say hi and have a cookie or pet the dog; I’d like to draw people into my home and make my kitchen and living room an extension of the community.

So I suppose it’s ironic that I haven’t met any of my sister’s neighbors. At first it was because of the temporary nature of the situation, but that rule doesn’t really hold anymore – I’ve decided to live and never wait until “later” for no good reason. I can’t live my life on hold, so I’m not. Besides, friends can stay in touch well beyond state lines, if I were to move far away.

So to be honest, it’s two things that have held me back. One is that it seems awkward to introduce myself and make friends with the neighbors if my sister isn’t going to feel similarly and open her home. Two is that… well, it still seems risky to me to trust strangers, even the ones living next door. I’m still figuring out how to best navigate that issue, since I refuse to spend the rest of my life in isolation from my surrounding community!

Anyways, I did finally meet some neighbors last night. They invited me and my sister to a meal this weekend. My sister asked to schedule it for a week when the boys will be with us, but it’s still progress.

It’s funny, actually. I know it’s been long in the making – months, really – but it feels like in the space of a week my life has suddenly become full of people. I don’t think an hour goes by without some form of contact with someone – my girlfriends, my sister, my friend from Habitat…. it’s almost overwhelming ocassionally. With people comes noise and mood and drama. But even when I need quiet moments, I’m grateful. I didn’t make many good friends in Pittsburgh, so it’s been a pretty lonely year since I left Baltimore. I’m not lonely anymore. I’ve learned that in the right places, I can make friends pretty easily. And I’ve learned that if I don’t inhibit myself – don’t put off ideas just because they are silly or random – then there’s a lot of joy to be had in the world.

So even though I feel sad when I think about moving – leaving behind soccer nights and some much-loved places and people – I know I’ll be able to do this again. Make friends, make a home, make a life.

It seems like everything is picking up…. except my professional life. My personal life – projects and friendships and developing routines – are all progressing – steadily, quickly. When I’m seeing so much quick return in my personal life, it makes it that much harder to push myself to keep trying in my professional life.

I’ve had two job interviews this month, two networking meetings, and contacted three places about internships… in addition to continuing to apply for job openings. In theory, things are progressing. In reality, they feel like continuing stagnation.

But I just got off a call with my parents, and for whatever reason I feel more ready to keep trying again. Maybe the positive feedback on one of my projects. I just feel better