This blog post is brought to you courtesy of Starbucks, without which I would currently be incoherent and/or falling asleep.

The good thing about having a destination is that you don’t feel aimless; the good thing about not having a deadline to get there is that you get to enjoy the trip. That’s not a metaphor… it’s just my experience from this weekend. I walked from Port Authority to Union Square. I went primarily to check out the Farmer’s Market and meet a friend, but it became a very relaxed day with lots of little surprises.

I love walking through the fabric stores of the Fashion District – all the window displays of texture and color and contrast. Just a few blocks from Port Authority I popped into a book store – its name is misleading; it has books on photography, comedy, art of all kinds (I found a book on Chagall), a full selection of Shakespeare, books on using drama in the classroom… and on and on.

Drama Book Shop

Made another random stop into a greenhouse – it didn’t have the full greenhouse experience – the humid air full of scent – but I got some photos.

The other good thing about having a destination is that you can make yourself wait for food. I really wanted to see what the Market offered, and it paid off. I’ve been wanting an apple turnover for a week, and I finally had one – definitely worth the wait!

Beyond the turnover, the Market was smaller than I expected – perhaps it reaches the “70 vendors” level in Autumn. But I enjoyed it and it definitely gave me a sense of the audience they cater to – this sign might be a cynical commentary on that:

"Attn New Yorkers: Eggs do not come from cows. Eggs are not dairy."

Cynical commentary aside, the Market obviously catered to a vegan and “natural foods” crowd – lots of vegan baked goods, wheatgrass, etc. But also loads of fresh cider, fruits, and vegetables. Also plenty of art vendors and even –

Free Hugs

Besides the food I ate there, I didn’t buy anything – including en route to the Market! (and including the free hugs. I was a little suspicious about those.) I did see some very cute things I considered for friends and family, but I was good…. I did take some photos, though (big surprise) – like these wax frogs! There were wax dragons, too, but the frogs were better.

Wax Frogs

There was plenty else to see and do… a magician walked up and asked to practice his show on me and a few others nearby. There were chess games – I considered getting a lesson in chess, but wasn’t sure if I’d have enough time til I met my friend. There was a human statue – I haven’t seen those since I was a kid at RennFest. When I got tired of the busyness, I pulled out my book on the park lawn or slipped into Barnes and Noble, where I met George, who is taking a fashion photography class and shared his booklist with me. Since one of his books wasn’t available at B&N, I told him about the Drama Book Shop. Funny little chance encounters. A model from England and her actor boyfriend. A man wearing a hat similar to mine from Lesotho. And so on.

I met my friend late – she had some trouble making it courtesy public transport – but she treated me to a latte so that worked out just fine :-p

It’s a bit of an odd match. We’re total opposites for the most part, at least in the most obvious ways. Maybe it’s like yin and yang, in that we each have qualities the other admires and so we seek one another out.

Maybe it just works out well because I can drag her out of jewelry shops and she can drag me out of bookstores. Ha.

But she’s another one of these people who see some great potential in me and wants it directed. Wants me to use it and stop wasting time. And she’s another person with a lofty goal, for whom everything boils back down to that goal that’s going to change the world. She looks at me and sees a world-changing energy, force, power, ability.

I should be flattered, but it comes closer to frustration. I’ve grown a great deal in the last year, but I haven’t reached the place these people have been asking me to. Not yet. I commented to her that the majority of these people – these people I find who push me and guide me – seem to be Black. She laughed and said I attract them and my vibe is all “sister.” Maybe I was Black in a past life…. Anyways, she gave me a lot to think about. But for the most part it was a quiet evening, just enjoying one another’s company and the summer night.

Getting home was something of a challenge…. the bus was nearly an hour late, and it wasn’t my usual bus. I’m grateful for a friendly bus driver who helped me find the right stop. I got home close to 3am.

Continuing with the weekend…. after I left Starbucks (where I wrote all the above), I headed to the Hackensack Greenway. I met the President of the local Board of Education and talked with him for a while – then solved two people’s problems – the President needed worms; another man had never fished at the river and seemed a bit lost and lonely, but happened to have worms. So I left them enjoying one another’s worms and companionship. Then walking back I met two birders, and we three met the President of the Friends of the Greenway. Series of pleasant chances.

Dragonfly (cell phone picture)

I learned some things there that disturbed me – about people not entirely understanding how the poisons in the river can impact their health. I’m getting verification of my concerns before I figure out what to do.

It’s funny. Last night I told my friend I probably wasn’t doing anything today. Apparently “doing nothing” means something different from “nothing”! I like what it means instead :-p

My sister and her sons are probably headed to Harry Potter tonight… I’ll probably watch Yes Man again at home and catch up with Anne Marie by phone. I haven’t done an ASL video in a month, which displeases me, so perhaps I’ll make that finally happen.

My room is still a work-in-progress, but the kitchen is pretty much set up – a few things that are hiding in my room, like my measuring spoons, are all that’s left.

I know this probably doesn’t look all that organized, but figuring out how to make this all fit took on the proportions of my first childhood encounter with the Russian nesting dolls:

Pots!

Actually unpacking all of my new pots made me appreciate even more the present – Ema and Abba, thank you! The pots are fantastic and I’m sure I’ll make good use of them all.

There were also a few mysteries that I solved along the way… like, why do I have two mixers?

Two mixers?

(Solution: One is an iron!)

And some mysteries I didn’t solve, like…. what is this?? It’s hollow, which implies to me that it’s a piece of something. The darker portion is some kind of mesh.

What is this??

Without camera flash... mystery object is actually silver-toned.

I decided to go for broke on my Farmer’s Market produce and make my favorite soup – a Tomato-Green Bean vegetable soup. First lesson from that experience: don’t let vegetables defrost so long that they spend a day in their own juices. The soup still tastes great, but the green beans don’t seem quite right to me.

My roommate asked me last night if it’s really worth it, making everything from scratch. I’ve decided that she can decide for herself after I make homemade applesauce. I have the apples, just waiting for a stretch of time that we’re both home!

I was right…. I got enough veggies to last me beyond the week for only $8.50 at the Farmer’s Market. With the addition of some bread, pasta, and rice from the supermarket, and all the canned soup I have… I could easily be living on less than $50 a month in terms of food. And eating much more healthily than I have been lately.

I went to the North Side Farmer’s Market today. North Side isn’t the best part of town, and the Farmer’s Market was pretty small- but there was that same atmosphere- around me, people were greeting friends they hadn’t seen in some time, telling them about weddings and other community events.

Being raised with kosher, which is very cautious about the possibility of insects in vegetables, I have to admit I was nervous about buying cauliflower and a head of lettuce at the Market. But I have to wash it the same anyways, and so far so good.

Then I had the problem of how to store the extra food… eventually I want to stock the freezer for the winter (at least for a few weeks… I don’t expect to make it til April, even frugally), but I really have limited space and I haven’t bought large ziplock bags yet. I improvised with a combination of tupperware, small ziplocks, and grocery bags.

I bought this non-meat beef flavoring at the store. I love that stuff. I need to buy garlic powder and that’ll make it complete (hmm, maybe rosemary too…). Next week I need to buy more variety at the Market, I didn’t buy any zucchini or squash this week- just green beans, cauliflower, lettuce, and cucumber. Not much color variety there, but I still have frozen blueberries, blackberries, and mango, and some fresh apples. They didn’t have broccoli. Ironically, my friend made me start craving mushrooms after I was well gone from the Market… so now I really want rissoto with mushrooms, broccoli, and spinach, in a white sauce. I don’t remember seeing mushrooms at the Market…. no carrots, either, maybe at the larger ones, unless they aren’t in season yet… might be too early… I’m debating getting a small freezer to stock it all, cause landlord’s freezer really has no room… but I haven’t looked at prices yet and I really just thought of it right now, so I can’t say. I’m used to so much storage space!

I’m doing a few social things this weekend, but I mainly want to use it to rest. My room is a wreck (big surprise- but I DO always keep my desks neat at work!), and I want to work on cleaning it and maintaining it as a restful place. And I want to go to this stream in the woods I know of at Schenley Park, just to sit and be in a quiet place for awhile.

Work is going well… I feel like my first draft of the curriculum materials I’ve been working on is almost done. I have to start studying the school tours intensely soon- shadowing school groups, etc- on the one hand, I’m looking forward to being away from the computer and to exploring the museum, on the other I have this need to be achieving projects so I’m hoping I can space out/balance the shadowing so that I’m also feeling like I’m accomplishing things. I know I’ll benefit from the shadowing, and my work will benefit- I just need the balance. I’m a little too tapped in sometimes… I have the urge every weekend to look at my work, and I don’t let myself.

June (no day given), 1837. Pg. 144 of James Bryce’s personal journal (copied from Curator’s transcription)

“Two weeks ago last Thursday my wife left here on a visit to her parents in Ohio. the first time we have been parted for many days since I first called her my own. and though I was willing. and anxious. she should go from a principle of duty. and from love to her. and to them. still I miss her much. the time hangs so heavy on my hands. at work it is least irksome. for there is employment. and that always gives at least comparative peace. under any circumstances– but when idle I feel her absence most sensibly. then memory is busy and the longing desire to see her again. become almost a painful feeling.

Mysterious (tie??) that gives being and blessedness to married life. a few short years ago. we were nothing to each other. then gradually more and more interested in. and knit to each other by trusting love. until now after more than a year of the most intimate acquaintance with each others characters. I can realize the force of the truth of the Divine ordinance that twain shall become one flesh…other relations of life are near and dear.. but in this. the fountains of hope and happiness of life itself are intermingled. the very being. the views and feelings. the hopes and prospects. the whole character in short. are blended and merged in one–and so must be to enjoy happiness for there is no greater mistake. than to suppose the mere ceremonial of marriage sufficient. or even tolerable. without the union of the heart.”

I read that while doing research for some curriculum materials I’m developing. Isn’t it lovely? It’s enough to really make me start believing again that men do feel love and aren’t just driven by testosterone, which recent events had me thinking.

I have this serious craving for broccoli. But I got about 2 hours of sleep last night (I’m far too sensitive to caffeine) and don’t trust myself to drive the hulk of a rental car I was given at the dealership today when they realized, upon finally fixing the computer glitch, that a rather important part of the car needs to be replaced. I’m hoping to go to the Farmer’s Market tomorrow after I go pick up my car. Then I can have broccoli with rigatoni and cheese sauce. And broccoli in a wrap with vegetarian chicken strips. And broccoli in pasta sauce. Please don’t tell me broccoli isn’t in season, because it has to be, I’m craving it too much :-p The Farmer’s Market I went to last time is near where I work, so I’m going to note down in my daybook each week so I remember to go after work… I imagine that living on Farmer’s Market veggies, canned soup, and pasta would be a fairly affordable diet :-p

So for now I’m hanging in there til about 8 or 9, when I can go to sleep. Oh, I did my first real baking in this house last night- made a chocolate pudding cake for my coworkers. It was well-received, albeit by the two people who ended up being there to have it! Oh well, it’ll still be good tomorrow. But I should’ve bought oil instead of butter, because then I’d have everything I need for biscuits, I think….. :-p

I tried making the individual lasagna tonight. It actually turned out to be more than I could eat- half of its in the fridge. It turned out enormously watery, but it tasted great (further experiments can only be a good thing!) I also learned that even real American cheese doesn’t melt well in the oven, so if I’m going to use cheese I need to just go ahead and buy the mozzarella. I’d been trying to avoid buying it and most of it going to waste before I could eat it, but I guess I’ll have to plan meals around buying it.

A wonderful woman- mother of a friend of a friend- went with me to traffic court today (and totally mothered me- she made me eat cookies!). The traffic court was in the countryside- some absolutely breathtaking views, but I didn’t have my camera. We saw real bison, and stopped at a Farmer’s Market… which carried bananas, so I guess it’s not entirely valid, but we still got a lot of stuff. I’d been thinking of going to the Botanic Gardens to get some peace after the morning, but the drive was everything I could have asked for.

The Children’s Museum backed out of my interview for some reason- so that was a bit of a blow. But again, it’s an opportunity to explore other projects.

People I meet here keep saying they think I’m so brave, or responsible, or whatnot- for moving here on my own, for handling things like having to go to traffic court for the first time, for hunting down a job in my field… I have a habit of not really understanding. I had to move somewhere, I had to get a job, and I hated dealing with traffic court but there wasn’t any other alternative. What’s funny about it is that I’m not really that great at the little parts of taking care of myself. I’m not great at collecting the trash on time, or getting the mail to a mailbox, or making myself get off the computer and go exercise or do something healthier. Those are things I’m still learning to do.

And as for being brave- to me, it’s just like being responsible, it’s just what you have to do. I’m lucky because I have friends who have let me lean on them so much the last month. If I was really strong, I think I’d do a better job of maintaining a positive attitude. That’s what I want to work on- taking care of myself and keeping myself busy and in a positive mind frame. There are some things I can’t rush- I can’t make friends happen beyond trying to meet people, for instance. But I can keep myself busy and happy instead of waiting and wishing for those things to happen. So that’s going to be one of my overriding goals for the next while, until it becomes habit. I’m going to work on exercising and occupying myself off the computer, and giving myself something to do instead of thinking when I’m feeling down, and to focus on positive thinking.

I got so frustrated tonight that I decided I couldn’t go another hour without a run. I braved rush hour to go to Schenley Park, and explored til I found parking and a path that people were running. It turned out to be very short- but it led me to a track. I’ve always preferred track, so it was a great discovery. I’ve marked the location in my mind and hope to make visits there a regular event. There’s supposedly an ice skating rink there, too, I really want to look into that.

Oh, a favorite story from Shabbat. The youngest at the home I stayed at- he’s about 8, and science for his class is more of a once-a-week troop into the lab. They are studying electricity, and he’s addicted, fascinated, enthralled-and he loves talking about it to me- and I love hearing about it! He wants to do an experiment to try to blow a football out of a tub of water.