Happy Birthday to my favorite reader

You’re the best!

(posting this today so you’ll be sure to see it when you wake up on your birthday!)

The rain came down in sheets at times, but we played. On the one hand – INSANE! On the other hand, if they’d rescheduled to Sunday I wouldn’t have been able to make the game and it’s supposed to rain anyhow.

The Soccer Moms brought me a chair! All season I’ve been sitting on the ground in the line of Soccer Moms. But they brought me a chair this time! I know I’m truly part of the team now.

We cheered and screamed and called out names. The boys scored 4 goals and the other team only scored their one goal in the second half. WE WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! And amazingly, we won every single game this season! Maybe I’m good luck

So what do I do with my life now??

Lol. Fortunately, there’s a month of indoor soccer – though I don’t know if my work schedule will allow me to make all the games. And I do have other things to be excited about. I’m incredibly excited to go to work tomorrow. And I love how I get home after work and not only feel like I’ve had a successful day, but I have plenty of time to get some of my personal projects done.

Funny, the boys aren’t here tonight. The first night in two weeks that Rock Band isn’t blasting over my head at 10pm. But I’m so hyped from the game, sleep might take a while anyways.

WE’RE GOING TO THE FINALS, BABY!

Tonight’s game was the most nerve-racking ever. We were playing the lowest-scoring team in the league, but they were playing hard tonight! Started out thinking three of our best players were missing – turns out one has the flu, one was late, and one cut his hair so I didn’t recognize him.

I was sitting there, yelling – not even caring when our Soccer Mom yells caused feedback in my hearing aids! – and in my head I was running through the “If you had fun, then you’re a winner” speech. But we won 3-1! WE ROCK!

My nephews did, however, request that we yell a little bit less at the Finals game. I’ll try to accomodate them…

So now I’m toasting my socks on the space heater, making tea, and settling in for my shiur. By the time that ends, it should be about bedtime….hopefully I sleep like a rock and wake up set to have a great day tomorrow! Wake up is at 6am!

It seems like everything is picking up…. except my professional life. My personal life – projects and friendships and developing routines – are all progressing – steadily, quickly. When I’m seeing so much quick return in my personal life, it makes it that much harder to push myself to keep trying in my professional life.

I’ve had two job interviews this month, two networking meetings, and contacted three places about internships… in addition to continuing to apply for job openings. In theory, things are progressing. In reality, they feel like continuing stagnation.

But I just got off a call with my parents, and for whatever reason I feel more ready to keep trying again. Maybe the positive feedback on one of my projects. I just feel better

I remember the first time I hung out with a large group of teenage guys.

That is, most of my friends in middle and high school were guys, but we tended to hang out in groups of two or three. Right now I’m thinking of the first time it was me, another girl, and ten guys.

I wasn’t expecting to be surprised – after all, I knew guys, right? But apparently two guys hanging out with a girl aren’t nearly as rough or crazy as ten guys ignoring two girls. I pretty much sat on the couch and stared.

I’m thinking of it because I’ve become largely acclimated to living with two teenage boys. I don’t flinch or worry if they start beating one another up on the couch just behind me, I’ve stopped questioning their appetites, and I’m surprised if the TV isn’t on to a sports game or comedy.

More, I miss them when the house is quiet. I’m bummed if the soccer game is postponed. And, as with all women with JMS (Jewish Mother Syndrome), I’m thrilled by little chances to feed them – and amused if I accidentally blow something up in the process, much to my older nephew’s delight.

I should get this on a t-shirt, yes?! :-p Or an apron. Or something. Lol. I could quilt it on a blanket to keep warm!

Without planning to do so, I’ve been making a mental list of what I’m going to do once I’m earning a paycheck again. To be honest, I’d really love to be able to afford Chanukah presents. Gift giving is one of my highlights in life – I usually start planning for Chanukah as early as August. I may have to think homemade this year. I’m guessing pretty bags of cookies wouldn’t do so well shipped internationally? :-p

If I can get a fulltime job right away, it will take me a few months to pay off my credit card debt… I would say 2.5-3 months, but that’s not factoring in my other expenses like insurance and student loans. But if I can get the time off, it would be worth extending the payments if it lets me get to my nephew’s bar mitzvah in December. Even if I can’t bring any major Chanukah presents for the family.

Most of the things I want to get once I have a little money are little things. The bathroom mirror broke – too much motion in the kitchen just above – I bet I can find one that nails in more safely and is small enough to fit the space. New running shoes – the ones I’ve been using since tenth grade are finally wearing down.

If I were to win the lottery between now and November, I know some of the Chanukah presents I’d buy (I think it’s safe to blog this, since the chances of me winning the lottery are slim to none; I’m not spoiling anyone’s surprise). Smithsonian sells kid-size bomber jackets; my youngest nephew would love that, I bet. They also sell these Chihuly bowls – one of my aunts loves Chihuly’s work. Though they also have these cute snowman sculptures she’d like. I’d get my best girlfriend these cute bunny rabbit cartoons I saw at Union Square. I’d get my niece and one of my nephews these graffiti NYC hats I think they’d love, unless I found something so specific to their interests I couldn’t pass it up. Hey, I win the lottery, I can give multiple gifts, right?

These are just things I’ve seen recently that made me think of people. I’ll come up with affordable gifts of some sort or other… and enjoy doing it

It’s funny. I always cook too much food. I often wish for people to cook for.

And yet I found it a slightly bizarre experience when, last night, I was keeping an eye on two males (one 9, one nearly 15) and making baked ziti and garlic bread to feed 5 family members – 3 of whom were boys aged 9, 13, and almost 15 (the 45 year old boy wanted some baked ziti, too, but had a dinner appointment).

Part of my job in education is to adapt quickly to different age groups, learning levels, maturity stages. But with family, with long-term relationships, it feels different. I imagine that the role you take with your children comes more naturally when you go through the stages – starting with them as a baby, adjusting to their changing demands as they age. Over the last few days, I’ve been making an effort to take an adult role, mostly around the 9 year old.

There are limitations, of course. I’m not his parent and I don’t have the credibility of one. But if we’re on the packed subway, or walking in the Bronx, or everyone else is out and I’m overseeing dinner – I’m learning to orient myself around a “young man” (he hates “child” or “little person”) such that he feels independent but is always within reach when we’re around strangers, learning to manage that continuous multitask of watching him from the back of my head and the corner of my eye, figuring out the best bargaining techniques over dessert and dinner, continuously trying to evaluate whether I’m treating him appropriately for his age. I’m learning to listen for his laugh and check his face for signs of fatigue (though convincing him to sleep is probably still beyond me), and finding chances for him to practice reading English, and trying to pull out quick facts he might like.

As I transition more and more fully into the world where nothing is black and white, I’m also learning how you interact on a long-term basis with children – for whom the world can still be very much black and white.

I’m a bit surprised – and somewhat pleased – that he seems unhappy that I’m leaving tomorrow. He keeps asking why I didn’t arrange to leave the same day he and his father leave. He’s going over my flight details right now, examining my printout for every detail. I can imagine him bothering his father to figure out which side of the plane I’m on, whether the plane they see taking off is the one I’m on, whether he thinks I got a window seat and can see them from the plane.