I thank Rachel['s student] for the title!
One of my goals for Shabbat was to give some attention to what I was feeling and thinking about my new/current situation. See, I’ve always had a plan. In college, I had a roadmap to graduation so that I could check off the classes as I went. College taught me to be a bit more flexible, but I’m still into having a plan. I had a plan up til moving to Pittsburgh; after that, the details got fuzzy. I’d find a job- do whatever was needed to get my foot in. I’d give myself 4 months, then start applying nationally if I wasn’t finding anything.
But essentially, I gave up all my big planning once I got to Pittsburgh. I put off planning, I put off side projects, I even put off getting into regular exercise. With the idea that once I got a job, I’d have some stability and could start planning my life around it.
Instead, I’ve walked into a situation that many in my field do at some point or other- short-term contractual work with one or two long-term opportunities. I’ve got one permanent/part-time job with a steady schedule, one contractual/part-time job. Another permanent part-time with a nonsteady schedule. An interview for another permanent (I think) part-time job. And granted these often lead to more permanent/full-time offers. But it means a lot less stability for the next few months or longer.
What I’ve decided is that it’s an opportunity. The other thing that’s been bothering me about losing my plan is that I’ve been more focused on getting any job than on finding a job that allows me to pursue my interest in work with under-served audiences. So by having this part-time position, I can be flexible enough to take on short-term projects with different community service nonprofits.
It means a different kind of stability. A more flexible definition of stability. That’s hard for me, because stability is something I’ve wanted my whole life. I can flourish in the chaos that is often nonprofits (and have done so), but less so if that chaos is my life. We’ll see if I can adapt (and keep it from becoming chaos!), or if my situation changes again and this becomes moot. And then, ultimately, we’ll see what I decide when it comes time to decide whether to stay or leave Pittsburgh.
