Years ago, when I lived in this same town as a child, a young married couple moved into the house next door.
They had a dog and cats – and I think they had a baby, but oddly enough I can’t remember for certain. Maybe because at that time, in this community, it was assumed that a young married couple buying their first house probably had a baby – so my brain has skipped over that detail.
I didn’t spend much time around them. They moved in just before we left the state.
But I do remember that they threw a housewarming party and invited all the neighbors. It made a very strong impression on me – the idea of opening your doors, welcoming everyone in, and making yourself part of your new community. I was only about ten years old, but I’ve always remembered that – and thought that I’d like to do that. I’d like to become the house where all the neighborhood kids drop by after school to say hi and have a cookie or pet the dog; I’d like to draw people into my home and make my kitchen and living room an extension of the community.
So I suppose it’s ironic that I haven’t met any of my sister’s neighbors. At first it was because of the temporary nature of the situation, but that rule doesn’t really hold anymore – I’ve decided to live and never wait until “later” for no good reason. I can’t live my life on hold, so I’m not. Besides, friends can stay in touch well beyond state lines, if I were to move far away.
So to be honest, it’s two things that have held me back. One is that it seems awkward to introduce myself and make friends with the neighbors if my sister isn’t going to feel similarly and open her home. Two is that… well, it still seems risky to me to trust strangers, even the ones living next door. I’m still figuring out how to best navigate that issue, since I refuse to spend the rest of my life in isolation from my surrounding community!
Anyways, I did finally meet some neighbors last night. They invited me and my sister to a meal this weekend. My sister asked to schedule it for a week when the boys will be with us, but it’s still progress.
It’s funny, actually. I know it’s been long in the making – months, really – but it feels like in the space of a week my life has suddenly become full of people. I don’t think an hour goes by without some form of contact with someone – my girlfriends, my sister, my friend from Habitat…. it’s almost overwhelming ocassionally. With people comes noise and mood and drama. But even when I need quiet moments, I’m grateful. I didn’t make many good friends in Pittsburgh, so it’s been a pretty lonely year since I left Baltimore. I’m not lonely anymore. I’ve learned that in the right places, I can make friends pretty easily. And I’ve learned that if I don’t inhibit myself – don’t put off ideas just because they are silly or random – then there’s a lot of joy to be had in the world.
So even though I feel sad when I think about moving – leaving behind soccer nights and some much-loved places and people – I know I’ll be able to do this again. Make friends, make a home, make a life.